Wouldn't it be terrible if you fell in love and suddenly didn't care for all the Curious George stuff you loved while you were single? The skydiving, the vagabonding and the establishing of yourself were all ways you disguised your search for love. And so once you found love, you lost a lustre for life because something inside you believed a lie that your lover would now fulfill you and provide all the needed excitement.
But then you become boring. And slowly but surely you forget who you are because you've stored your identity in your lover loving you.
This doesn't work.
Romantic love turns out unable to fulfill you. You expect it to, but it lets you down. And this let-down drives you into a loss of self and a loss of lover.
Wouldn't it be terrible?
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2 comments:
my dear - profound and heart wrenching. and brilliantly true. i am grappling with this - you have expressed it so well. i am so glad that you came into my life even for such a short time. because now we will have our future to be connected.
Hang in there, Monica! It's not over or too late yet. Check this amazing quote: It matters not what the clocks say or the attitudes and labors of men. Morning is when I am awake and there is a dawn in me. Moral reform is the effort to throw off sleep. . . . We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical hour
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