Sneaky Beauty

On the journey to becoming our best selves, there are painful seasons of recognizing and fixing our character flaws.  Sometimes realizations about ourselves are awful, other times we're not as bad as we think.

I have loads of strengths and flaws.  What I have been struggling with lately is the balance between self-promotion and self-absorption.  It's hard to know when you're crossing the line from a good thing to a bad thing.  I also have a history of being judgmental.  I've noticed incredible improvements from sixth grade to now, but I kid you not, I could give your Baptist gramma a run for her money.  And then there's vanity.  Who doesn't struggle with vanity?   

As much as it's painful, sometimes recognizing an ugly aspect of our character is intensely meaningful because a veil of ignorance is lifted. You recognize, cry, note, work to improve.  But yesterday I noticed that sometimes I think I am worse off than I really am.

This is what happened.

I was on the metro, coming home from practice.  People were looking at me for a bit longer than usual.  I wondered if I could actually look that good after practice.  I figured probably not and continued reading my book.

When I got home, I looked in the mirror and laughed at myself.  I had black under my eyes like human-meets-racoon!  Woops, I forgot to wash off my mascara before practice!  That's why people were looking at me, silly.

What I realized after laughing at myself, slightly embarrassed, was that I also must have forgotten to look in the mirror before leaving the pool.  For someone who thinks she's vain, as much as I still felt embarrassed, I was also proud of myself.  I didn't even look in the mirror before leaving the locker room!!!  I washed, conditioned and brushed my hair.  But I didn't even take a glance at this purty face in some reflective glass.  That's serious stuff.

So, I bet you're not as bad as you think, at least in certain areas.  Maybe embarrassing or forgetful moments allow beauty to sneak out from inside.